Back again? Well, I have an ass load of shit to drop on you this week. Somehow, I managed to decide to attempt to review "I Kissed a Girl" by Katie Perry. Why did I decide to attempt to review this atrocious attempt at a quick buck? Great question. One I'm still pondering as I write this. I used the word 'attempt' because I really don't know how to go forward with this review. I could easily begin, and end, this review with a single sentence: Katie Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" is an atrocious waste of air space that attempts to cash in on immature alcoholics with aspirations; however, it succeeds only in making Vanilla Ice look like Tupac Shakur.
If you've read one of my previous posts; you're probably wondering why I didn't post a link to the 'song'. I have a perfectly logical explanation for my omission: I refuse to assist you in the viewing of the video. I do not think my conscience is strong enough to deal with such a crime. How would I sleep at night with the knowledge that I assisted others in the viewing of "I Kissed a Girl"? Better yet, how would you sleep at night after watching it? In short, I omitted the link for your protection. Feel free to thank me monetarily (in small, unmarked bills).
This is where I usually present research or interesting facts. Not this week. I have a limit folks; some torture is too much for even Da Menace. I can't willingly search info on this song. In fact, it would take a handgun to persuade me to 'Google' Katie Perry. I've heard the song plenty of times; I was force fed that damn song all last summer. Why? Because of the schmuck who controlled the office radio; and his undying loyalty to his favorite radio station. Sadly, he died in a freak polka accident a few days before I left the country... I mean, went on vacation.
The lyrics are terrible, meaningless, and downright unnecessary. Before the haters start chirping, let me make one thing clear. My dislike for this song is NOT rooted in a dislike for the Lesbian and Gay community. "I Kissed a Girl" has nothing to do with said community; it's about a drunk ass party girl who is too hopped up on X to logistically comprehend the repercussions of her actions. Therefore, she kisses a girl in an attempt to rile up a crowd of 40 year old virgins while simultaneously testing the strength of her relationship. Sound deep? I sure as hell hope not. This song is a fucking waste.
I do not condone the illegal downloading of music; in fact, I'm against it. However, it's songs like this that nearly justify the theft. If an artist is going to be so money hungry as to release a song like "I Kissed a Girl", they don't deserve positive compensation. A big reason why the industry is slumping is because the business end of it is affecting the music. Record labels are so concerned with making that next big star that they are overlooking the content. Most of the soul we want in our music is being replaced with heartless one liners and robotic imagery. By 'robotic imagery' I mean that they are painting the same picture, with slightly different shades. Come up with something deep and original, not a stupid rehash of something done, or a complete joke of a song like "I Kissed a Girl".
Message to artists like Katie Perry: Don't fucking bite the hand that feeds. Don't expect fans to buy into your schemes for long. Most music fans require that their favorite musicians actually try. Be warned that to maintain your career, you may have to pull something from somewhere besides your ass. Surprise music fans with the depth of originality and precision; don't force us to suffer through another generic song based on a one liner. For some reason, radio stations feed off of controversial shit like "I Kissed a Girl"; and that forces listeners who actually enjoy tuning in to abandon their posts. It's songs like this that make me praise the invention of the I-Pod.
While I'm aware that my blog is based on reviewing terrible music of the 90's; I couldn't avoid reviewing "I Kissed a Girl". The track will undoubtedly be talked about, in the future, with the same regards used to discuss Vanilla Ice and Milli Vanilli. In fact, "I Kissed a Girl" takes the idiot torch from 90's artists and runs with it; praying to somehow transcend American culture and become talked about for ages. Well, in that case, "I Kissed a Girl" succeeds with flying colors; cause I'll be talking about the depth of suckage present in this atrocity for ages. Bravo!
Don't... Pity Me, for I am,
Da Musical Menace
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I would agree in saying that "I kissed a girl" has no depth and that the song is a waste of time. However I think that the reason that this song actually has been such a big hit on the radio etc is because of the lack of originality and good lyrics. The song isn't targeted to people who are music connoisseurs it's targeted towards 16 year old girls who think it's cool to get trashed and make out with other girls because guys think that it's hot. In that I would say that the song fits perfectly for the people who listen to it. Its superficial and shallow and annoying, but it's still a big hit.
ReplyDeleteSadly, one must say that I kissed a Girl has gotten the best of you. It has not only stolen countless hours of radio time that could have been given to better songs, stolen countless hours of downloading time that could have been spent watching better music videos, but it also stole some of your time which could have been dedicated to writing about a song that inspired thought rather than nothing more then open sluttiness and bad reviews.
ReplyDeleteI think that I Kissed a Girl has become popular becasue of its catchy lyrics. Thats what our society likes, things that are catchy. I truly think the song is awful and stupid, definately shouldn't be considered real music. However, as commented by others young girls think getting trashed and making out with their girlfriends is cool, which adds another group to jump on the ban wagon of I Kissed a Girl.
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